Hello World!
Its been a long time since I last posted. If you are reading this, then I am surprised. I didnt think anyone was reading at all!
Well, I wanted to make this post a long time ago but was forced into a well deserved mental evolution (upheaval/breakdown of common sense/ emotional correctness) since my last post.
I dont think I would be posting on Medium anymore. I lowkey hated posting on there anyway, (this is a secret between you and me, dont tell them!)
For one, I felt betrayed that my recent acquaintances (if one can even call them that) had not been hardboring the same level of mental unreliability (or) emotional imbalance (I seem to have had a lot of baggage). This one random guy told me this one thing which completely shattered me in response to my ramblings on the need for immediate action -“Are you lonely bro?”
After that I thought hard about why I was in an emotionally imabalanced state and why I am trying so hard to insert myself into a place that clearly dosent want me.
After that I had focused my attention to teaching the kids at my school. I worked up the courage to give a bayaan on Jummah to the kids on important matters such as Unity and even game theory as some sort of redemption. I have always wanted to make this school into a sanctuary of some sort. As a bastion or stronghold for our community members to be unapologetic and take refuge in. After all, the next generation of leader are all in schools around the globe right now and I intend to focus on giving them the right tools and to nurture them to become self sufficient and critically thinking.
I had gotten my priorities straight since then and am focusing solely on providing for my family nowadays. I still contribute on grooming the next generation by teaching them coding among many other things. small baby steps.
I have realized many things since my last post. Its that Rizq always come from Allah. At last I gave in and asked my former HR if there are any vacancies for me to fill in. I had to do something! As things were then, I had 0 income and was just contributing to the school while asking for nothing in return.
When all of a sudden an amazing client with a very good offer had swooped in outta nowhere! They seem to have contacted me purely because of my linkedin presence. I was trying to set a personal brand there. It was an unexpected harvest.
From this incident I learnt that Rizq does indeed come from Allah, no matter how much effort one puts in. Maybe he intends me to continue contributing to the school with my flexible timings. My flexible timings would be gone if I were to join a job.
I also learnt that all Rizq comes from Allah and one shouldnt just ignore rizq just for the sake of it. On second thought, my job itself was a rizq from Allah and I have now come to see that. I thought it was expendable and threw it away thinking there would be others but maybe it was more important than what I interpreted it as, seeing the state of myself over the past few years as well the state of my less fortunate friends who are still unemployed.
I have also learnt that I am not a saint nor a god given gift to this world to help others, guess some call this saint syndrome or something. I have stopped empathizing needlessly than needed. I am now prioritizing my own self interests on some level higher than before. I have become more assertive as opposed to self doubting. Everyone is expected to overcome their own fitnah and in the judgement day everyone will only speak for themselves.
One of the more interesting things that happened on a positive note is that I have learnt the power of social gatherings such as expos in my line of work.
Networking by directly speaking to another human being face to face and asking them “Do you want me to get this done for you?” is a more surefire way to move up in the generating value sector. (By that, I meant money, work and social status). I visited this cybersecurity conference called NULL Chennai and unexpectedly got a lead. Will surely look forward to attending more expos and tech meetups in the future
Now, onto the title.
Warhammer was a tabletop game similar to dungeons and dragons (some might say) that has deep lore, is played by rolling dice and with figurines and measuring tape. Henry Cavill was mentioning this game when in an interview regarding witcher 3 on his “jam”.
I mistakely thought that “TOTAL WAR: WARHAMMER” was the game he was talking about and bought it just out of curiosity since, I really like RTS games and was reeling in a deeply depressed state after my then arguably(real emphasis here) favorite author outright said dont read my works and stuff. (it was a phase)
This mightve been an impulse buy (it definitely was) considering the fact that I couldve spent that money on food.
Then again maybe, it was for the best. I was awakened to the concept of “Tactics” in general after playing this game feverishly on a loop. I have awakened to the fact that we need to employ Tactics on everything. Be it in first impressions, relationships and long term goals.
Tactics is simply going forward and then going backwards at a specific time. I was oblivious to the fact that we could go forward, back then forward and then again back and so on… in stuff generally. like relationships, goals, negotiations, social status, basically everything.
Maybe I shouldve been tactical in my approach towards my “acquaintaces” but then again, I was robbed of my mental capacity to make informed decisions back then. I think I am going to love using tactics in interpersonal relationships from now on.
I am not going to say free filasteen cause no one can free it except the one up above. Its useless begging others for help.
Ah, Its getting late for my work. Its noteable that I have now cut down on all games alike and am at the edge of adopting something called ‘discipline’. adios!